Three Handles to Grab Onto When Looking for Joy

Sometimes I feel like my circumstances leave me with the same mood one monk had that I read about. Here is that story.

Every ten years, the monks in this one monastery were allowed to break their vow of silence and speak only two words. The first 10 years went by for one monk who was given the opportunity to speak. He thought for a minute, then said, “Food bad.”

10 more years went by and once again it was time to speak. He thought long and hard about what he would said and blurted out, “Bed hard.”

On his 30th anniversary, the head monk couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say. He said after a moment of delay, “I quit.”

The head monk in reply said, “I’m not surprised. You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”

What turns an ungrateful attitude into a joyful one? There are lots of possibilities but three that come to mind are our posture, our perspective on time, and our positivity.

Who can we learn from when we think of the people we see at Christmas time? I like to look at the shepherds who in my opinion, had all three elements and experienced joy as a by-product.

What is joy?

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines joy as: “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.”

I think we can do better than that. This definition sounds too much like joy is based on positive circumstances which it doesn’t.

A better definition is this one:

Joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is a settled state of contentment, confidence and hope.

Theopedia

Three Handles to Grab When Looking for Joy

Handle #1: A Posture of Humility

The shepherds were at the bottom of the social ladder so their circumstances weren’t soaring. They were hated and unwelcome in social circles. But they didn’t complain or whine about their pitiful life. They were comfortable in their own skin and seemed to enjoy their lot in life.

They quickly said yes to visiting the new baby and had an “others focus.” They could have had a “bad food, hard bed, and I quit” mentality but they choose humility. You and I can do the same by adopting a posture that thinks less about ourselves and lets go of toxic resentment and pride.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. — CS Lewis

A great man is always willing to be little. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. ― Criss Jami

Handle #2: A Present Perspective on Time

The shepherds had a “now” orientation when it came to time. They were close to nature and were ready to respond to what was right in front of them because they weren’t living in the past or worrying about the future.

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. — Jan Glidewell

Learn from the past, prepare for the future, live in the present. — Thomas S. Monson

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful. — Unknown

Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more. — Mother Teresa

Handle #3: A Positivity Strengthened by Gratitude

When we are in a funk and overwhelmed by challenging circumstances that are inevitable, it’s not about trying to change what is. It’s more about taking action that will move your frame of mind into a new place. Gratitude will do that.

Gratitude won’t change your circumstances but they will change you in the midst of your circumstances.

Here’s your Christmas challenge. Take the 26 letters of the alphabet and find something you’re grateful for for each letter. Write them down or speak them out while driving or out for a walk. Do it on your own or do it with your family and watch what happens.

Let me get you started…

A – Access to clean water
B – a warm bed to sleep in
C – comfort food
D – my dentist
E – escalators
F – friends

Now it’s your turn. As you practice gratitude, watch your mood shift and your joy rise to higher levels. Remember, it’s a scientifically proven fact that gratitude boosts the neurotransmitter serotonin and activates the brain stem to produce dopamine.

One final thought and a talk to check out

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” — Victor Frankl

Note: If you’re interested in listening to a talk I gave on this topic last week at my church, click here.