A Glimpse at New Normal

A glimpse at my new normal

The moment I saw this new normal was during my latest hospital visit. This visit was for surgery number eight where my surgeon was to remove the external bone transporter, straightened out my lower leg and complete a bone graft on my femur. Surgery went well and I was in my room the day after feeling the effects of major surgery but glad it was over.

Then “the moment” came. At the foot of my bed stood my orthopedic surgeon looking at his handiwork and asking, “So how are you doing?” I said I was doing pretty well except I noticed a couple of things.

I noticed:

• My right leg was still rotated a few too many degrees to the right.
• My right leg was a few millimeters shorter than my left leg.

I was letting this sink in when the surgeon said: “Well you have a leg and you are without infection.”

That’s not what I saw.

I saw:

• limping for life
• shoe lifts
• an inability to run properly
• life different from what it once was!

When the surgeon left – I was left with a flood of emotions.

• Sadness
• Loss
• Numbness
• Anger
• Frustration
• Unbelief

Now, in the greater scheme of things, I knew this wasn`t as bad as it looked on the surface. I knew in my head I would adjust to whatever my new normal was going to be and it was way too early to even know what walking and running and living would be like. But for the rest of the night, I was bummed out.

Until the next day…

I woke up on Wednesday and felt different. Nothing physically changed after one more night’s sleep. I was stiff and sore from surgery but emotionally I was in a different place.

• I could see myself riding a bike just fine with my shorter crooked leg.
• I could see my shoes with lifts in them no one could even see!
• I realized to have a leg and no infection was a gift to be enjoyed and celebrated.
• I knew in my heart (not just in my head) it was too early to have this all figured out.

What did I need to do? I needed to worry less, trust more. I needed to live one day at a time and concern myself with getting through one more day of pain and post-surgery recovery. That would be enough for now!

When have you been shocked by a glimpse at a potential new normal you didn’t like? How did you learn about dealing with “potential” new normal that can help you now?

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