Tips on how to get back up after you get knocked down
The following article was written by David Hildebrand who experienced a life altering brain injury. He tells his story of what he learned and the role resiliency played in his recovery. I hope his words inspire you like they do me. David gave me permission to share this.
According to Psychology Today, “Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever.” I went from being a hard working, self-employed construction worker to being confined to a couch for many hours of the week. I could have given up in the face of the seemingly overwhelming mountain that was put in front of me, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other and forged a new life. The stress was huge, beating me down on occasion, but I never gave up.
Rather than letting failure overcome me and drain my resolve, I found a way to rise from the ashes.
Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and soldier on.
Resilience is a very necessary attribute to have in recovering from a brain injury. It changes a person’s life from that moment on, sometimes more so than other times. A lot of energy, perseverance and determination is needed to heal after this type of injury. It is very common and easy to get discouraged and give up.
There can be a lot of negative reactions to the trauma: depression, anger over the loss one feels, despair, loss of hope and isolation are common for survivors. Then there is the guilt which comes with having an invisible disability that others can’t see and don’t understand. All of these things can do a lot to impede recovery. However, when one looks at the injury as a challenge to overcome and an opportunity to redefine one’s life, the survivor can make great strides in recovery and healing.
Having a positive attitude towards the roadblocks life throws at us is one of the keys to getting better and living a fulfilling life.
There’s an adage that goes something like this, “A wind storm came on an oak tree and a willow tree. The oak tree broke under the stress; the willow tree bent but didn’t break. Are you the proud oak that resisted the forces and was broken, or the willow tree that bent under the stress but bounced back to live on?”
That analogy brings us to the issue of stress and how it relates to resilience. Elizabeth Erickson says in her book, Mind Your Brain, “Stress affects our perceived level of vulnerability, but even more influential is the effect of trauma on an individual’s ability to respond properly to stimuli and employ resiliency in the face of vulnerability.”
Stress can break us and defeat us, but if we rise to the challenge, we can rebuild our lives into something worthwhile and beautiful again.
Resilience is about adapting to life as it unfolds around you. According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience: Challenge, Commitment, and Personal Control.
Resilient people view difficulty as a challenge, are committed to their lives and their goals and spend their time and energy focusing on situations they have personal control over. It takes a lot of energy and courage to recover but it can be done.
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About Cam Taylor
Coach, author, speaker, father, friend, leader, life long learner.